January 28 - 2003: Issue #4  INSIDE THE DEN
Superman: "Super Mean!"


Christopher Reeves receives standing ovation-calls audience "Just Plain Cruel."

Dijon vu:
the same mustard as before.
 

ooh ooh look at me...i'm a catMusical ‘Cats’ Finally Called “F’d up” By Well Known Critic
“Its not ingenious, its not artsy, its not intelligent, its not entertaining, its not even cute, its just plain disturbing and f’d up,” said well-known critic of musicals Scott Ballard.

>FEATURED Full story

 
 

rodent rapeGerbil in San Francisco Pet Shop Window Looks Scared

Owners Toni and Guy have seen sales skyrocket since the gerbil section
was opened last summer, but are starting to become worried for their
four-footed friends.

 
 
STYLE & FASHION

Goth Still Not In
            Will it ever be?

PSYCHOLOGY

Candyland Tactics Good Predictor Of Sexual Preference
 
HUMAN INTEREST

Man and Woman trapped in elevator don’t fall in love
 
RETAIL

Wheaton University students too weird to end up with anyone other than Wheaton University students
 
 
   IN OTHER NEWS
  Bush to Lift Ban on Cloning After Idea of “Bush-lings”
  Amish Porno Market Soars on Recent Poll, and Still Rising
  Small Town Directions Include Big Light and Old Stump
  First Peek at New Children's Series; Tales for the Emotionally Damaged
 
  HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THING?
match.com's finest


No? hm...lucky

Height: 3ft 9in
Weight: undisclosed
Last Seen: being kicked out of dungeons and dragons guild for casting wrong spell and hurling rocks of fortune at dungeon wall
Considered fuzzy yet dangerous. Do not approach

   WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?



A Uteral Fetal Snooze Button
"mom, just give them 10 more minutes"