Bring out the rabid dogs. Put up the security cameras. Hire a driveway security guard.
In a disturbing Madison, WI area trend, innocent rummage-sellers are being ripped off of their valuable junk. This “rummage sale bandit” is terrorizing families of much needed income. The most recent incident took place this past Thursday, at an early-bird sale. Single mother, and rummage sale host Sarah Krankston, fell prey to the latest attack.
“There was this sweet old lady knocking on my garage door at 7:45 am the other day. We didn’t open until 8:00, but I let her in early to be nice. She was eyeing up this lovely forty-piece plastic silverware set we had. I was getting rid of them because I had finally stolen enough actual silverware from different restaurants to make a set. They don’t match, but what the hell. They’re better than plastic,” Krankston commented.
“I had two dollars marked for the set, but she would only give me fifty cents. I politely declined, but after haggling the price, she became violent and tried to bite me. I yelled at her to leave, and finally she put down the plastic silverware and took off,” Krankston continued.
Or so she thought.
“I went over to the table two minutes later, and they were gone! I was astonished. She stole my plasticware. Who does that? That’s two bucks I’ll never see again,” a teary-eyed Krankston said.
A fund has been set-up for Krankston and her baby at the local St. Jude Catholic Church. Please send your donations to help the victims of this tragic event. The subject is still at-large and considered very dangerous. She is described as 5’4”, 110 pounds, has white hair, and “allegedly” uses a cane to walk with. However, the cane is thought to be part of her devious act. Previous victims have reported the suspect “hauling-ass” out of the driveway in apparent rummage sale hit and runs.
A reward of ten bucks is being offered for any information leading to the capture of this woman. However, caution should be taken in the apprehension of the perpetrator. She is thought to be part of the elusive “Rummage sale Mafia” organization, where the members participate in the organized racketeering of rummage sales. This ring of terror needs to be stopped quickly. People cannot go on having rummage sales in constant fear. One must feel comfortable to have a rummage sale without the terror of being bitten!
Until they are caught, we can never be free!!
story submitted by: Paul Blaukowski
