The recent summit called for by his holiness himself has brought about a few new rules for parishes everywhere to abide by. Pope John Paul IV revealed to a raucous crowd the "Pope Pole™" as a standard for minimum height requirements for enterance to any catholic function.

Due to the recent allegations, the pope invited Cardinals from the United States to the Vatican for this unprecedented summit. Among the talks, he also had planned some "fun" activities, one of which was a trip to EuroDisney. When Pope John and Cardinal Carl attempted to ride the Whirley Cups, the cardinal noticed the preemptive warning to the ride and the Pope Pole™ idea was born.

In his address, the pope forecasted that the Pope Pole™ will not only be restricting our priests access to the tempting young sinners under 54 inches, but it will also keep out the midgets--who always distract me from my sermon. "

Catholics everywhere have mixed reviews of the Pope Pole™. While Maria Trinidad plans on purchasing one to go along with her at-home-altar, she doesn't want little Jose, age 5 and only 4' tall, to miss out on what the molesting minister may have to say on any blessed sunday.

Many thought that this Pope was on the downslope of his illustrious career of waving his hands and mumbling incoherently, but he continues to surprise the masses and minions. While the jury is still out on the effectiveness of the height limit, pedophiles everywhere are hoping the Pope doesn't venture into the private sector.