The Wolf

INSIDE THE DEN

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	LAST WEEK'S EDITION of THE WOLF

The recent summit called for by his holiness himself has brought about a few new rules for parishes everywhere to abide by. Pope John Paul IV revealed to a raucous crowd the "Pope Pole™" as a standard for minimum height requirements for enterance to any catholic function.

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The popular internet phrase "lol" has infiltrated every aspect of internet interactivity between persons. Games, chat rooms, even e-mail, this phrase has saturated the environment and doesn't show any signs of going away. "Lol" or laughing out loud, if found to be accurate, shows that when people are on the internet they laugh 700% more than when they are not.

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ENTERTAINMENT

Top Rated Reality Show to "Take It To A Whole New Level" Survivor: Gaza Strip

LOCAL

Nursing Student Brooke Hunter Tired of Being Called "Little River"

TECHNOLOGY

Baby born with more computer skills than lady from human resources

RETAIL

Walgreen's Condoms on Clearance "not a hot item"

HOLLYWOOD

Hollywood squares icon Whoopi Goldberg loses millions in pick up game of tic tac toe

IN OTHER NEWS

>	US Schedules Vowel Drop To Stranded Russian City Thrzkluzk

>	God distributes "Rockin Hallelujia" on mp3, Record Companies will "see him in court"

>	Rummage Sale Bandit Strikes Again

>	Two Cop Impersonators Scare the Shit Out of Each Other

CONTEST WINNER

Last week we asked you to send us your best living homonymns. Here is your winner:

A pearish parish

THINK ABOUT IT

"The lazy do nothing and love it, the ambitious do all that is possible and in the process hate themselves because they envy the lazy."