Because of a recent decline in sales, the Pez Company released its new controversial Satan dispenser last Month. It quickly became the most successful dispenser of all time surpassing Betty Boop, which had occupied the number one slot since '83. The dispenser caught the eye of men ages 13-26, who never expected to see such an inspiring delivery mechanism for the wonderfully addictive candy. In response, Frida Cookman, a concerned mother of two boys, 13 and 16, wrote an emotionally charged letter to the company and the local paper. "This dispenser is outrageously in bad taste, in undermines religion and sends the wrong message. I am insisting that you take this product off the market and think about your next move, can I suggest Jesus, or a bible shaped dispenser." Cookman burned her children's Satan dispensers and is attempting to start a boycott of the company.

In response to this and many other outraged mothers the Pez Company issued a formal reply, it read "Screw you." When asked about the bad publicity, a top official at the company said "Satan is an icon to many people in this country, we have many pop icons and other famous dispensers that no one has objected to, Michael Jackson, Mr. Hanky from South Park, and Hansen, which I feel is much worse than Satan. Jesus doesn't sell to our target audience, Satan does, that's all there is to it, it's a profit thing." In other words, expect Satan to stay in stores, for now.